Real Men Like HOT Salsa

REAL MEN LIKE HOT SALSA

Recently a good friend and I made some fresh garden salsa out of some vegetables I grew in the back yard. When it came time to add the jalapino peppers, my friend asked me to save him a portion without the peppers. To this request, I jokingly replied: "real men like hot salsa." Now, we have an ongoing bit of friendly banter whenever we make salsa, as I ask him if he would like the sissy version. His reply is always something like, "no, I just want you to save me some before you ruin it."

Such friendly banter amongst men is healthy and fun. And, of course, whether or not one likes their salsa hot or mild really has nothing to do with manhood. But I think it does raise a question that is crucial within our current cultural milieu. And that is, What does true masculinity look like?

With that question now asked, I must lament with bitter tears the sad, sad fact that our society has absolutely no clue how to answer this! The influence of feminism has so radically eclipsed the distinctiveness of manhood and labeled the portrayal of masculinity as an expression of male chauvinism, that not only has a healthy masculinity been lost to antiquity, but the very term itself has come into wide-spread disuse. The Feminist and homosexual movements have unwittingly lent strength to one another and in a joint effort have almost completely succeeded in wiping out any vestige of a healthy understanding of gender roles within our society.

I recently read an article on dailymail.com by a columnist named Nirpal Dhaliwal, entitled How Feminism Destroyed Real Men. I cannot endorse the article due to its biting tone and inappropriate sexual content. However, Mr. Dhaliwal is certainly onto something. Listen to a few of his comments. He writes:

"Back in the Nineties, emboldened by the successes of feminism, women sought to slay the dragon of patriarchy by turning men into ridiculous sissies who would cry with them through chick-flicks and then cook up a decent lasagna. . . In recent years, men have been trained like circus seals to be inoffensive to women. . . Now, over a decade later, women are waking up to the fact that these men are drippy, sexless bores. The feminisation of men hasn’t produced the well-rounded males women were hoping for. . . These are cardboard cut-out men who gush with empathy whenever their wives and girlfriends need to dump their professional stresses and female angst on them: weak and soulless men who haven’t the guts to make a mark themselves, who take the passenger seat in their women’s juggernaut journey to post-feminist nirvana. . . Men are now generally terrified of women. They hold their tongues for fear of being misinterpreted as sexist. . .They suppress their masculinity and present themselves as cuddly Mr. Nice Guys, and won’t project self-confidence in case it’s regarded as unreconstructed machismo."

Even if written in an un-Christianly biting tone, Mr. Dhaliwal has leveled a pretty accurate diagnosis of the current state of masculinity. Feminism would have us believe that gender roles are repressive and artificial; that the differentiation of male and female characteristics and mannerisms are simply cultural constraints that tend to devalue women and inhibit their freedom to succeed. And because the female body has been elevated to an object of worship for the vast majority of Americans, women now hold an incredible sexual power over men everywhere. This is a power they have mastered well; and they wield it with incredible efficacy. The result is, of course, that masculinity has virtually disappeared and men have been browbeaten into subjection to the politically correct position, which is now termed "equality."

Men, however, are not simply innocent victims in all of this either. Ever since Adam in the garden of Eden, men have found it easier to take the back-seat. Consider this quote from the story of the fall: "When the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desirable to make one wise, she took from its fruit and ate; and she gave also to her husband with her, and he ate" (Gen. 3:6). The text says that Adam was with here the whole time! The one who was supposed to be the head of the household, the leader, provider and protector, apparently stood right there and let her transgress the express law of God!! Satan successfully turned the family structure on it’s head and enticed Eve to lead the way into sin and Adam into following her.

After the fall, as part of the curse, God said to Eve "your desire shall be for your husband, and he will rule over you" (Gen 3:16). What we have now is a dispute over leadership within the home. Now, says God, "your desire shall be for your husband" (i.e. the leadership capacity of your husband), and yet he is still responsible to "rule over you" (i.e. to be the head of the household). God, in effect, said: if that’s the way you want it, that’s the way you’ll get it. The result is that the natural inclination of every woman’s heart is to usurp the male leadership role within the relationship, and the natural inclination of every mans heart is to be subject to that usurpation. It was an abdication of God-given masculinity that led to the fall; and it’s an abdication of God-given masculinity that plagues us still today.

In Christ, however, the curse has been lifted. We still deal with the residual inclinations of a sinful heart; but we are no longer in bondage to them. It is a woman’s Christian duty to fight against the sinful inclination to usurp the leadership role; and it is a man’s Christian duty to fight against the sinful inclination to submit to that usurpation. We must embrace a healthy, Biblical sense of masculinity and live it out in the power and strength of the Holy Spirit.

Dr. Randy Stinson has written a very insightful article in Southern Seminary magazine, helping us to see just exactly what a Biblical masculinity should look like. He writes:

"Most definitions and descriptions of biblical Christian manhood tend to major on the Christian and minor on the manhood. . . But are there not specific, differing ways in which men and women will live out the Christian life? Are there not certain ways in which I am going to instruct my sons, that I will not do with my daughters? There are no generic people. There are men and there are women. Consequently, there are no generic Christian people. There are Christian men, and there are Christian women."

He draws his instruction from David’s final words to his son Solomon in (1 Kings 2: 1-9). That passage begins like this: "As David’s time to die grew near, he charged Solomon his son, saying, ‘I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man.’" Isn’t it interesting that David begins his instruction by telling his son: "Show yourself a man!" I love that! In the following verses, David spells out how Solomon is supposed to do this. He tells Solomon to "be strong," (v. 2) "Keep the charge of the Lord your God," (v. 3) "Act according to your wisdom," (v. 6) "Show kindness" (v. 7). In other words, David was telling Solomon to show himself a man by leading with strength, remaining obedient to God, acting in wisdom and showing kindness where kindness is due. And these characteristics of masculinity are reiterated all throughout Scripture when speaking about manhood. But there’s more.

"The Bible," Stinson says, "when giving specific instruction and admonition to men, usually does so within three key categories: leading, providing and protecting." Stinson suggests nine characteristics of leadership. Leaders must 1. Cast a vision; 2. Give direction; 3. Provide instruction; 4. Lead by example 5. Provide inspiration; 6. Give affirmation; 7. Evaluate progress; 8. Make corrections when needed; 9. Protect and provide for those in their care.

The Lord Jesus demonstrated these qualities perfectly during His time on earth. He is to be our model; and there could be none better. The Lord Jesus Christ showed Himself a man in everything that he did. His masculinity dominated his character. His strength and resolve was displayed in His victory over the temptations of the devil in the wilderness (Matt. 4: 1-11). "He perfectly manifested a balance of masculine compassion and provision," writes Stinson, "with the woman at the well and the woman caught in adultery, and masculine righteous protective anger in denouncing the Pharisees and Sadducees and cleansing the temple. He set His face like a flint toward the cross and, in spite of the abandonment of His disciples and their failure of nerve, He persevered to His death and victorious resurrection. In other words, Biblical manhood is modeled after the Lord Jesus."

Stinson ends his article with a few suggestions about how we can cultivate masculinity under the lordship of Christ.

1. Do the hardest task first. Attacking your hardest task of the day without delay will build your resistance to passivity.
2. Run to the battle. One only needs to consider the life of the Apostle Paul to see that conflict is a regular feature of the Christian life. Men who think all conflict should be avoided, or who refuse to engage with those who would harm the body of Christ or their family, not only model passivity but fail in the area of protection.
3. Don’t procrastinate. The man who is cultivating Biblical masculinity will not allow things to rule over him. He will exercise dominion over them by doing them in a timely manner.
4. Keep your domain in order. A life that is characterized by disorder is evidence of passivity. Your home, dorm room, garage, office and car should bear the mark of your masculinity as you subdue it and keep it in order.
5. Kill a bear or a lion. In other words, do something that is challenging for you. It may actually be to kill a bear or a lion, but it may be a health challenge like running a triathlon or a marathon. It may be riding a roller coaster or snorkeling with sharks. Or it may mean you need to finally share the gospel with your lost friend.

So, just what does true masculinity look like? It will look exactly like the life of the Lord Jesus Christ. It will be characterized by strength of character; it will be characterized by obedience to God; it will be characterized by the exercise of wisdom; it will be characterized by kindness when kindness is due; it will be characterized by a willingness to lead, a willingness to provide, and a willingness to protect; it will be characterized by a rejection of passivity; it will be characterized by an aggressive determination in pursuit of good and godly goals; it will be characterized by the exercise of dominion; it will be characterized by bravery, honor and integrity; and it will be decidedly anti-feminine in its mannerisms.

And on rare occasions, it just may involve working up the nerve to try a mouth-full of really hot salsa (which, by the way, my friend did).

Soli Deo Gloria,
Shane Morgan